Experiment 1- rice | performanceartblog

[Experiment 1] : Rice Counting

Question : What if relations with objects make visible my subjectivity/inner world?

Hypothesis : A contact-based relationality with the object rice grains will cause a shift in my subjectivity/inner world.

Experiment : Take a handful of rice and count each grain in one sitting.

Concepts/Ideas : Object/subject

External/internal

Relationality/contractual relationship

Intimacy

Transformation/shift

Conditions : Contact (close physical contact)

Durational (1 hour 19 min)

Endurance (required)

Data/Observations

Initially my focus was entirely on counting
Shifting my focus from counting was difficult as I was afraid of losing the count
Anticipation of how long it might take and how many grains there are.
Sometimes patterns of counting and picking the grains developed
Patterns were changed by devising different ways of picking the grains and counting
My body position kept changing through the duration of the experiment but the upper body remained constantly close to the rice.
The grains and my body and gaze were very close to each other
Each grain was handled with a lot of care
Associations, memories, thoughts began to emerge
By the end of the hour I began feeling emotional due to particular thoughts that were surfacing
Eyes teared up, lump in my throat
At one moment, I spaced out
The grains moved from one vessel to another
Some grains broke in the process of counting and transferring
Counting became autopilot as emotions took the lead

Analysis

Endurance was required to stay focused and committed to the task of counting.
Initially my body-mind was engaged in the physicality of the task.
The focus moved from the physical task to associations, memories and thoughts from my personal life some were related to the recent past and some were from a long time ago.
The repetitive act of counting gave way for the mind to wander and enter the personal realm of feelings/thoughts.
The grains kept the intimacy/close proximity between the rice and me as they were very small and thus required focus and patience.
The counting of each grain created this space for introspection/self-reflection to occur which then brought to surface my inner world which lead to a physical sensation (lump in my throat, eyes tearing up, heaviness of the heart)
Through engaging continuously over a duration of 1 hour the object invited my body-mind to go deeper into my psyche.

Results

Through physically being in contact with the rice (object) over 1 hour (durational) an intimate space was created.
The intimacy and repetition (of counting) with the rice (object) through duration brought about a shift in my mental, emotional and physical state as it transformed my focused, calculating, logical state of mind to an immersed, vulnerable, introspective and emotional state of being.
At the same time, there were changes in the materiality of the rice as it shifted patterns in which it was arranged, it broke and changed position from one vessel to another.